“Straddle Stance at the Emperor’s Pissoir” by Dan Grossman

Straddle Stance at the Emperor’s Pissoir

The museum director holds an opening 
for the latest import from Italy:
the urinal used by Emperor Titus
during his last visit to Pompeii. 

You say Pompeii’s urinals didn’t resemble ours.
You say Titus never used them 
but the proof’s in the pissing!
As the glitterati sip their champagne,   

they’re watching your attempt to avoid
the piss on the floor with your straddle stance.
You have to admit you like the attention,
as they remark on how you hold yourself.

You have to admit this exhibit is no bore
as you recall your last piss at this pissoir.