“Hoosier Salon vs. IMOCA (poem)” by Dan Grossman

Erika, the Hoosier Salon director 
and Charles, the head of IMOCA,
came out dressed in boxing shorts
and gloves and sparred a round
on a regulation-sized ring
in the middle of the gallery.

I expected to see outré
contemporary work — pubic hair 
and blood clots on canvas —
facing off against a buttload
of covered bridge paintings
but it wasn’t like that.

As Erika pounded away
and Charles did the rope-a-dope
I saw that most of the work
was pretty conventional: 
portraiture, Color Field painting 
and landscapes.

I was struck by one painting
in the iMOCA camp
a portrait of a dude pondering a painting
like I was pondering that painting.

Thought provoking
but Duchamp’s “Fountain” it wasn’t.   
It was a Hoosier Salon sculpture
that drew the biggest crowd:
an upright nude male in bronze
basketball in palm.

Not quite Theodore Steele territory
I recall saying to myself
just as Erika landed an uppercut 
on Charles’ chin and knocked him out.

Note: iMOCA was the acronym for the short-lived Indianapolis Museum of Contemporary Art