“Cage Match: Barbenheimer vs. Adrenochrome Jesus” by Dan Grossman

Trinity Nuclear Test, New Mexico, 1945 Courtesy of US Govt. Defense Threat Reduction Agency, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

Cage Match: Barbenheimer vs. Adrenochrome Jesus

Not a Barbenheimer/Adrenochrome Jesus
triple feature but the cage match
sponsored by Bud Light.

Watch as Adrenochrome enters the cage 
arms crossed, fingers flashing peace signs.
Watch the crowd reach a bloodlust boil

as ‘Heimer comes out sporting a pink dress, 
fedora, and a codpiece 
looking like a trigger Jeremy 

Renner messed with 
in The Hurt Locker, that film 
no veteran liked.  It didn’t seem real

to them just as Adrenochrome’s preaching
about Jews extracting blood from kids
in the temple doesn’t seem real

to most NPR listeners. But their fight
is no conspiracy: it’s a no-holds-barred
affair with Adrenochrome quickly 

putting ‘Heimer in a hammerlock. 
She explodes out of it and puts him 
in a chokehold à la George Floyd. 

He dies, and fails to resurrect himself.
As ‘Heimer is put to trial,
no one notes the irony.