“The New Supreme Court Majority,” by Dan Grossman

If you are interested in more truly twisted poetry like the one below, please order Dan Grossman’s new book of poems Mindfucking Roundabouts of Carmel Indiana, in print or on Google Play. The book has not yet been voted “Best Book of the Year” by readers of Current in Carmel.

In the forests of Africa
the monkeys began to cooperate
according to Karl Marx; they worked together.
His labor theory of value can be used to explain Darwinian evolution
from the amoebas all the way up
to our Supreme Court’s current majority
of fascist justices.  

The justices sit so high above us all
the rest of us proletariat
driving around in SUVs  
and doing our Christmas shopping 
in Walmart supercenters.  

In order to weaken the state’s power
vis à vis Walmart 
(in which his friends owns considerable stock) 
the chief justice writes an opinion reading, 
“That’s too many Hobbesian sticks 
in a supposedly Lockian bundle.” 

His protégé typically tosses off
his bench-bound hours daydreaming 
of a naked Anita Hill
and a flood of Coca-Cola
from the Almighty’s throne   
while our most righteous justice 
declares to CNN,  “Women should 
pay for abortions with their own blood.”

Observe, in the meantime,
our most corpulent justice, 
who, while eating Kobi steak 
with Tucker Carlson, incorporates
blood libel legislation 
in the Believers’ Bill of Rights.

Our fifth justice wants America
on her knees
like a co-ed coerced at a frat party:
The blame is with Eve, not with the snake,
he thinks as he fantasizes an ATM facial.

Our sixth justice sleeps late. In bed,
yearning for the thrust of Fabio’s cock, 
she decides the reopened Scopes trial 
in favor of the creationists.  Fabio, after all, 
didn’t inherit those abs from an orangutan.