“Space Jews” by Dan Grossman

Shutterstock AI-generated image at prompt by Dan Grossman

Space Jews

Not Leonard Nimoy or William Shatner
of Star Trek fame 
but the Cohens, Steins, and Goldbergs 
who led the world Zionist Congress
and conspired also to control Hollywood
after 100 years of colonizing Tralfamadore.
These must be the kikes Dave Chappelle
was talking about on Netflix. 
His shtick is nothing new.
Just think of T.S. Eliot:
“The Jew is underneath the lot” 
and Amiri Baraka:
“Who told 4000 Israeli workers at the Twin Towers to stay home”
Steven Spielberg should make a film with these poets
kissing each other’s cheeks
in flagrante delicto.
Who would play them?  
I play my Jew card and call my friend Bleistein
in Hollywood and suggest 
David Schwimmer for Baraka
and Sammy Davis Jr. for Eliot:
Let’s mix it up a bit.  
I really don’t give a shit
what Sarah Silverman said about “Jewface,”
about non-Jews playing Jews.
because Sean Penn did a good Harvey Milk,
Al Pacino did a good Roy Cohn,
and Renée Zellweger did a good Sonia Horowitz.
On the other hand,
Millie Perkins as Anne Frank not so much.
Jim Caviezel as Jesus
and Charlton Heston/Christian Bale as Moses
not so much.
As for Cate Blanchett as Bob Dylan ...
I don’t know what the fuck was going on.
Frankly.

You don’t have to be Jewish to wear Jewish genes,
but it helps 
or so said Gilda Radner.
For me it’s not a requirement
the right actor to the right role, I say
so while I’ve got Bleistein on the line
I propose another movie:
a no-holds-barred-drag-out fight
between Black and Jewish comics
Seinfelds and Pryors 
that takes place on Moonbase Alpha 
a rumble in the space jungle
refereed by Andy Kaufman 
and Martin Landau in the guise
of Commander Koenig
with Don King playing himself.
Maybe there’ll be a cameo for Dave Chappelle
I’d cast him as Norman Mailer.

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