“Operation Taco” by Dan Grossman

From Mindfucking Roundabouts of Carmel, Indiana: Poems and Short Prose by Dan Grossman

Operation Taco

The dude I picked up at Walmart had dreadlocks and a metal visor that went halfway around his skull. Like Geordi’s in Star Trek. He had a plastic bag full of produce.

He got in the front passenger seat, saying, “Turn down the radio.” I obliged. The man adjusted the visor until it snapped into position. And then he started laughing, saying “You obsess, bro.”

It took a moment to figure out he was talking to me.

“You obsess about shit like your odds of getting prostate cancer when really, you should be thinking more about your family,” he continued.

I stopped breathing for a second or two. “How," I asked, “do you know what I’m thinking?”

“Ever since I got out of the army, I’ve been testing out these Thought Readers for the Defense Department. Next month ICE goes into Mexican restaurants all over the country in Operation TACO to round up undocumented workers. They want me to help. The Thought Readers translate their thoughts, translating them into legit removal documents.

Making America great again.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I ask.

“Why not tell you?” he says. “I mean, there ain’t jackshit you can do about it.”

“Well, I don’t like what you’re doing at all,” I snapped back.

“Don’t complain, brother,” he interjected, “I was just skimming the surface with you. You want me to go deeper? I’ll go deeper.”

“No, actually, I’d rather you didn’t,” I said as I turned onto 10th Street.

But he continued anyway. “They say Prince had one of these Thought

Readers,” he said. “They say he was an early adapter.”

 When we arrived at his veterans’ (HVAF) group home, his tone changed.

“Just so you know,” he said, “I’m not totally down with this shit. I have some problems with it, but I need to eat. Like you Uber so you can eat.”

 I nodded, and he looked me in the eye.

“We straight?” He gave me a fist to bump.

  “We straight,” I said, bumping.