‘Halfway to Wherever (after ‘Streets of Laredo’)’ by Dan Grossman

John Margolies, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

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Halfway to Wherever (after the song ‘Streets of Laredo’)

As I parked my car beside a Stripes gas station 
in Laredo, Texas, I saw Jon Bon Jovi
fumbling in the dumpster, bottle of gin
in hand. He was wearing a Young Guns III

mashup: Plains Indian breastplate, ten gallon
hat and leather boots. His cartoon style 
screamed cultural appropriation.  
I said, “I see you’re playing a cowboy

with an Indian fetish, but where’s the steel 
horse?” I was recalling his hit single, 
“Wanted: Dead or Alive.”  He shot me 
the side eye. He said, “I’m not Jon per se.

I’m Jon Bon Jovi 1990, a discarded
persona. Jon abandoned me after he 
released the soundtrack Blaze of Glory,
after the Rolling Stone writer told

him to ‘Go, East, young man.’ The review 
was so cruel.” I wondered why this Bon Jovi 
doppelganger was so close to the border,
so far from New Jersey. I wondered 

at his despair and lack of self-compassion.
“Jon’s fans wanted ‘Livin’ on a Prayer,” 
he cried. “They didn’t want to see him
shooting six shooters in the air.”