Sore Loser (or Feeling fucked over by the Karens of the world) by G.M. Robertson

Photo by Nsey Benajah on Unsplash

If you’ve seen the Netflix series Workin’ Moms, then you’ll know what I mean when I say that I have Anne-Carlson-level resting bitch face pretty much all the time now. But don’t let my angry face stop you from saying hello when you see me out and about, maybe standing in line at the grocery store or waiting on a carryout order. I won’t scream at you. I may look like I will, but I won’t. In fact, I’ll probably be happy to see you! That’s still the kind of person I am on the inside—happy to share a hello and a smile with people—even if my face doesn’t immediately show it anymore. 

It’s just that…this is how my face looks now, and I can’t help it. I’m so blisteringly angry and frustrated about how things are going in this country. I know it manifests on my face because I can feel the tension in my furrowed brow, clenched teeth, and pursed lips. 

Many people I know would advise me not to get so upset about things I can’t control. Many would even say I’m being a sore loser. Things in this country aren’t going the way I wish they were, so I guess I’m pouting. But I truly feel justified in my anger and frustration. 

After all, it’s not like I’m mad simply because it’s so expensive to fill up my minivan, my carryout costs more, and my family’s grocery bill is higher. My family is doing fine. I’m capable of acknowledging my privilege. 

I’m mad that everything costs more for poor families. I’m mad that people experience persistent, generational poverty, especially here, in the wealthiest nation on Earth. 

I’m mad that our nation still operates under a patriarchal white supremacist hierarchy and that at least half of American voters either don’t care about this or don’t believe it’s true. Because, if they did, they would support policies and politicians that seek to dismantle this horrible, harmful system. But they just…don’t. And that complicity allows white Christian men, and their female accomplices, to continue terrorizing us socially and economically, and, for many people and communities, physically, too. 

I’m mad that too many Americans—politicians, pundits, and voters alike—casually dismiss data and facts and willfully disregard evidence that points toward clear and accessible solutions to some of our biggest problems. Sensible gun control measures would save lives. Abortion saves lives and enhances wellbeing among people who receive this medical procedure. Living wages help pave the path to thriving households and communities. Safe and stable housing promotes health and security. Increased police budgets DO NOT make communities safer. Renewable energy sources and carbon regulations would slow climate change, which is a real, scientifically proven, and increasingly dire threat to life as we know it. Increasing taxes on corporations and the extremely wealthy makes good sense and would help fund much-needed solutions. 

Instead of believing science and evidence, though, too many people prioritize the comfort of their own ignorance and denialism, and they support policies and cast votes based on feelings and faith, and this gross recklessness literally kills people and is destroying our planet. 

It doesn’t have to be this way. The majority of the American electorate that continues to indulge in its own comfort, ignorance, and denialism allows it to be this way. I wish more people had the courage and motivation to face these issues head-on, to believe the data that evidences them, and to actively seek and support the policies, people, and processes that can lead to solutions. 

Is courage a dead trait in Americans? Has it been replaced by cowardice, foolishness, or laziness? It seems most people will believe anything now, and too few Americans know how to determine the difference between what’s corrupt and what’s legitimate. Does figuring out what to believe take too much time and effort? After all, one must think critically about what one reads and hears. A person has to be motivated to put in that effort. And it’s so much easier to take things at face value and so much more comfortable to believe that which confirms what you already believe, isn’t it? 

It takes courage to be willing to have our worldviews challenged. 

I believe it doesn’t have to be this way, though, which is why sometimes, like when I’m standing in line or waiting on a carryout order—times when I have a moment to allow my consciousness to recede into the deep burrows of my brain—I start thinking about how it doesn’t have to be this way, and I feel like I could boil over with fury because our reality is so, so far from our potential. My brow furrows, my teeth clench, and my lips purse as I choke down the frustration. 

I believe to the core of my being that these issues are worthy of the deepest anger and frustration. They are a call to civic action and the most creative and provocative forms of activism. 

People can say I’m pouting. People can call me a sore loser. But I’d rather be a sore loser kicking and screaming about social and economic injustices, the pillaging of our democratic institutions, the infringements on our human rights, and the destruction of our environment, than to be duped into thinking I’m winning.